Musings of an Unimportant Self

Sometimes it can be literally, and others metaphorically.

I had a good childhood, I was loved by my parents. I had one or two friends, and didn't get on with anyone else. Well, now look at me - I have no one. Friends are something I left behind me, something that I felt I no longer needed. Somehow, I feel that was the wrong thing to do. I'm a lonely man. It has nothing to do with sexual loneliness, but rather the lack of friendship and a casual companion. I'd like someone that I can go see a film with and not worry about whether or not they're going to poison my food whilst I'm not looking. I'd like to be able to trust one person enough to eat out without suspicion or fear lingering in my mind.

Loneliness destroys people from the inside and turns them into people they never wanted to be or expected to become. No, it's not fair that some people have to suffer this way, but there are many people who choose this way of life. I'm one of them, and it's one of my biggest regrets. I've always been a quiet man who keeps to himself, but I should have made more of an effort. If I had tried that little bit harder then maybe I wouldn't be so depressed, maybe I'd be a happy man.

Perhaps at work tomorrow I will try that little bit harder.

Adieu