Certainly has been some time since I last posted. Don't worry, I didn't die. Thought about it, but I'm still alive.
I did a lot of thiking after my last post and the responses I received on it. I decided that I could not and would not change myself for anyone. If ever anyone decides to love me, then they shall do so for who I am rather than who they wish me to be. I'm only 21, I've got a long way to go and plenty more people to meet. Speaking of women, there are no more in my life and I dumped my girlfriend before she could get there. I received that "we need to talk text" and yes, she planned on dumping me. Apparantly, men who are uninterested in sex are unattractive and offputting. I reckon I'd have a better chance at love if I tried it out with men, I understand them more at least.
All that said, I was really depressed when I dumped my girlfriend. I spent days just lying on the couch, staring at the TV. I wasn't even watching, I have no idea what was on. I missed five days of work without really caring, and ended up being warned that if I missed anymore I'd be fired. That certainly made me get up - if I lose my job everything is gone. I'm only really just coming out of the whole thing, my mood is lifting a little and I've decided to take some of the advice one of my readers gave me. I'm leaving this town and I'm moving to London. I've already started looking for apartments there, and hopefully I'll be out of this place and on my way to the city by the end of the month. I'm job hunting in London too which will be incredibly exciting. I've never liked big cities or crowded places, but I figured that I should try something new and a city is right in the deep end of the metaphorical lake.
I can't wait to get out of the hole that has become my life.
Michael
No, I'm not lying. I have never been to the cinema before. Sure, I've watched films on DVD before, but I've never gone out to see them because such an event has never been something I was particularly bothered about, especially with no friends to go with.
However, yesterday was different. I went to see a film called The Three Muskateers with my wonderful new woman. I have to say, it was quite a lot of fun, and although the loud noises gave me quite a shock (I never knew cinemas were quite that loud) I throuroughly enjoyed it. The acting was alright and the story was a bit of fun, and the fact that she was there made everything that little bit better. I even braved eating out at a restaurant afterwards which was nicer than expected. We ate at a little place called Nandos where they served chicken burgers and such things (never even thought of having chicken in a burger before!). It was actually rather tasty and I think I will end up going there again becuase their food was just so good. I'd never really eaten out before except with my parents as a child, when I grew into a teenager I stopped going out completely.
So yes, short post today, but I felt this was important to share. After all, I haven't been this happy in a long time. Are any of you readers as happy as I am right now? If so, why? If not, how come?
Michael
I'm actually in a relatively positive mood today. The reason for this? Well, to some it may seem all of nothing, but to me it was fantastic.
At work today, I was set to work behind the counter, and I did so. Scanning people's items, aking for their money, fixing the card machine when it malfunctions every other transaction. The usual, boring, mundane stuff. Anyway, it was as I was scanning the items of a young woman that she said to me "You're really good looking." I wasn't sure what to do, so I just smiled and muttered a thank you shyly. If that wasn't shocking enough...she gave me her number. Seriously, she gave me her number. No one gives me their number. No one at all. I was so happy, I just stood there grinning like some child who had just received the best present of his life. She asked me to call her, and I plan to. I cannot wait. This is going to be amazing. No, I shouldn't get too excited. She could be some nasty, vindictive person, but somehow I find myself doubting that. I love her already.
Good mood, hooray. I forgot what it was like to be happy.
Adieu
