Sometimes it can be literally, and others metaphorically.
I had a good childhood, I was loved by my parents. I had one or two friends, and didn't get on with anyone else. Well, now look at me - I have no one. Friends are something I left behind me, something that I felt I no longer needed. Somehow, I feel that was the wrong thing to do. I'm a lonely man. It has nothing to do with sexual loneliness, but rather the lack of friendship and a casual companion. I'd like someone that I can go see a film with and not worry about whether or not they're going to poison my food whilst I'm not looking. I'd like to be able to trust one person enough to eat out without suspicion or fear lingering in my mind.
Loneliness destroys people from the inside and turns them into people they never wanted to be or expected to become. No, it's not fair that some people have to suffer this way, but there are many people who choose this way of life. I'm one of them, and it's one of my biggest regrets. I've always been a quiet man who keeps to himself, but I should have made more of an effort. If I had tried that little bit harder then maybe I wouldn't be so depressed, maybe I'd be a happy man.
Perhaps at work tomorrow I will try that little bit harder.
Adieu
I have often pondered the meaning of life. Whether it is for pro creation, for personal enjoyment, or if there is even a meaning at all. Recently, I stopped wondering what my purpose was and what kind of set goal I had to fill. Instead, I started living life for me, and that was all that mattered.
I have found that the important thing in life is to live without regret and to do what you want rather than what is expected. I'm not an old man, I'm still young at 21, and I have a lot to learn about life and many corners to turn without knowing who or what lies around the bend. I have yet to experience love, powerful friendship and passion. There has been so much that lay dead inside of me, begging for life but never being given any of it.
There is no one in my life to share the meaningless activity of every day life with, and so here I suppose I can post it, and perhaps some people will find it interesting, perhaps they won't. Life is an important thing, a wave of immense power that can destroy you or make you stronger at any moment - often when you least expect it.
I'm not a significant person, nor will I ever be. However, to some the musings of my unimportant self may be interesting, even helpful. If I can provide that, I will.
Until we meet again, reader,
Adieu.
